20th
Jack!
Now why would I have a problem with there being so many characters on TV and in movies named Jack? Well, because I’m me. But that’s another story for another twisted time. Let’s get back to JACK, because that’s how his Alpha/Everyman ass would want it.
Jack is slick, and never worries. His only real problem is recurring homoerotic nightmares from which he awakes in a cold sweat, sometimes masturbating, sometimes already finished. His cocktail of choice is vodka and Ambien.
That aside, Jack is everyone you know, have known, or have ever wanted to be. He wears Abercrombie and Fitch cologne and spends a lot of time on his abs. Except you don’t know anyone named Jack, but you sort of wish you did. That’s how Jack perpetuates himself in spite of everything, it’s how he stays normative.
But that’s TV Jack.
Movie Jack tends to be a con man, action hero, or (my favorite) a tortured artist who calmly drinks scotch and water from a perfect highball glass while his wife throws dinner plate after dinner plate at him because he’s so goddamned selfish—a fucking child. You’re a child, Jack.
