27th
I’ve learned a lot about a certain sector of CNN’s target audience since having the station pretty much installed inside my eyelids for 8 hours a day; they’re rich, kinda old, and have trouble getting boners and paying their taxes. They love retractable awnings, and hate being audited. That’s where Patrick R. Cox comes in.
I see this poor fucker’s face every morning. I couldn’t find a picture big enough to show you the raw, wounded fear in his eyes, the terrified “get this camera OFF me, please make it go away, I just wanna go home, make a bologna sandwich and watch Deadliest Catch” gleam. Combine it with his outer burliness and stiff line delivery, and the result is something I want to bottle up and either cast into the deepest ocean or keep on my keychain like pepper spray.
Even better is the gist of his commercial (as I interpret it, anyway)— “The fucking gall on the IRS, can you believe this shit, Tax Dodger? We’ll ensure that they treat your shady ass with respect, then get naked with you and bring you chocolate waffles in the morning.”
Better still is that Patrick Cox is not only a legend to me, he is a well-known celebrity on RipoffReport.com. BullshitMasters!! Play on, P.R.C.— play on!
