13th
Hi, I’m Bobby Flay! My strangely blank face is everywhere! Also, I hate myself! Please watch the many programs wherein I create a wonderfully uneven playing field on which to be better than everyone, thus keeping my rage and self-loathing in check for one more day!
This guy! I bet he pops his wife in the face if she doesn’t call him Grillmaster Robert. Is there a block of food programming out there that doesn’t have any Flay chopped into it? Or should we just put his face on our currency already?
The Cooking Channel ran a program about him recently, the hagiographic nature of which could only be rivalled by that of the Biff Tannen Museum during the alternate 1985 in Back To The Future II, or on old propaganda murals of Saddam Hussein.
It’s enough to make me rub my eyes with chipotle powder!! Except you know he’d appear in my living room with eyes full of spice to see who kicks more ass at temporary blindness. Consider me pre-defeated, Bobby. Sigh.
