Jul
9th
Fri
9th
BURT.
Take a good look at Burt—if you can bear it. I don’t know what he looks like in real life, but the face I see on my paint-bucket sized tub of bath crystals gives me the skin-crawlies. It’s the face of a guy who lives in a booby-trapped shed where he shits in a bucket and petitions the government to recognize his backwoods property as a sovereign nation because he is a Resurrected Spider Knight and oh God, there are bugs under his skin, plotting his death via Morse code and forming a spiral on the sun.
Burt’s Bath Crystals: The bucket blocks the Thought-Readers, the crystals contain the Truth.
