19th
I’ve lost an icon of my youth. I want the old Andrea Extra Strength Creme Bleach girl back! I can find only a speck-sized picture. Tatiana (that’s what I call her) was beautiful in a distinctively eighties Eastern European way. She didn’t smile, but I imagine she had charmingly crooked teeth and a yappy little dog that she loved, and got into modeling to escape her boyfriend Igor, who tried to sell her into white slavery. This newer girl is gorgeous, but I don’t think she knows what it’s like to hide in shame all summer because her happy trail begins at her chest and ends at her toes.
These days I ride aboard the S.S. Sally Hansen to keep my freakish, unceasingly resplendent “unwanted hair” in check (until it shows roots 36 hours later), but their model could be computer generated:
I get no pathology whatsoever from her, though it’s worth noting that her brand now smells like almonds! Tatiana knew the dirty business of mixing cream with accelerator powder and frosting oneself like a damned cake just to feel like a socialized female rather than a transgendered sasquatch. Bless her, wherever she is….
